EMToast.exe
F@cked Up Toast, Est. 2008
Friday, October 24, 2025
Saturday, September 20, 2025
Blessed Are the Teeth
Part 1: On the Blessings of the Teeth
my children
hear me
blessed are the teeth
they bear the bite
even when jaws tremble
blessed are those who chew slowly
tasting life
in every morsel
blessed are the molars
turning gristle
into something soft
blessed are those who floss
sweeping spaces
where decay waits
blessed are those who smile
their teeth
shine into darkness
blessed are the toothless
they know patience
humility
the art of savoring
without biting
blessed are the brushes
they keep mouths
at peace
blessed are the gums
quietly holding all together
blessed are the dentists
mending
what is broken
teaching care
for what is forgotten
Part 2: Woe Upon the Teeth
but woecursed are the teeth
they bite
without warning
they chew
without mercy
cursed are the molars
grinding endlessly
wearing down all resistance
damn the incisors
sharp
unforgiving
curse those who ignore the floss
decay spreads
while you look away
smile if you dare
your teeth turn
yellow
cruel
brush and brush
plaque rises
like a defiant army
gums
traitorous and weak
bleed under pressure
teeth grind in the dark of night
feasting on enamel
leaving cracks
and dentists
tireless menders
fill the voids
while decay gnaws onward
Part 3: The Judgment of Teeth
and lo
the teeth rose
gnashing in mouths
the molars ground
crushing all
between them and food
plaque spread
like a plague
coating all lands
gums bled
in silent rebellion
cursed was the tongue
caught
between crushing teeth
and slow ruin
wisdom teeth erupted
unholy
mocking every prayer
toothbrushes and floss lay broken
abandoned
dentists
desperate prophets
cried into the void
but teeth heeded no call
the toothless laughed
empty mouths
hearts wary
in the end
the teeth devoured
all comfort
all sweetness
all peace
leaving only gnashing
the bitter taste
of regret
hear me
children of enamel and bone
blessed are those who feared the teeth
they inherit
the pain of restraint
Friday, August 9, 2024
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About/Disclaimer
ABOUT:
We write what we want, when we want.
DISCLAIMER:
EMToast is a nonsensical publication intended for entertainment purposes
only. All articles contained within EMToast are fiction
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Tuesday, August 6, 2024
EMToast.exe Virus
The EMToast.com era is dead, but 6 rogue packets escaped and The EMToast.exe virus will continue to infect the internet...




